Spirit Of Salt

For some strange reason I want to write about the two men who came out to me.

I’m not gay.  That simple.  You want to know what I think about why? Because of an accident of biology.  My kid could be gay.  What do I know, he’s three.  Probably he isn’t.  Statistically. I am ashamed to admit, I hope he’s not.  Mainly because it saves him trouble.  To a degree because I want stupid conventional things: for him to have a stupid conventional falling in love with a stupid conventional girl and give me stupid conventional grandkids to love.  I could not love him one tiny iota less if this turns out not to be the case.

I worked with Richard, last name unremembered, at Quorum, which processed huge document batches so that evil corporations could better litigate huge lawsuits I can’t talk about because of a nasty NDA I signed.  It was dumb obvious he was gay.  He was middle aged and had a bad ticker, so there’s a reasonable chance he’s dead.  This is, like, ten years ago.  He vanished into a health crisis and I vanished into a running away from Quorum, and I didn’t bother to figure out where he was or how to visit him and I’m sorry about that.  Sorry about that, Richard.  That’s my Dad’s name, by the way.  I hope you’re alive, and failing that, I hope you will live forever in the afterlife that my smarter friends assume is a fantasy.  He was a little leery of coming out to me because I am an avowed Christian.  I don’t blame him, I know what we’re like.  Richard took me to my first gay bar, the Saloon.  Some insane stereotype burly mustachioed seventies guy interjected himself into our conversation, talking about bisexuality and cruising and all kinds of nutty.  After he left Richard was distraught.  He said something like “this was your first experience with a Gay Bar and I wanted it to be nice and then that Period Piece shows up!” And I laughed and told him what a nice time I’d had.  It was true.  He told me about being afraid about how I’d react because of My Beliefs and I said Richard, how could I believe in a God who would hate such a good person as you, and I could tell he was really relieved.  And it bugged him then and it bugs me now.  Why should you have to feel relieved, Richard?  Such a good-hearted man.  Fuck you, mainstream Christianity, for this shitty world you created.

I worked with Michael at the orchid nursery (SUCH a long story) and it was dumb obvious he was gay.  He worried about coming out to me because I am an avowed Christian.  Michael is surely still alive, I hope.  He was a good guy.

Here is my stupid, simplistic take on Christianity.  In the night in which he was betrayed, Christ gave his disciples a New Commandment, which was to love one another.  He offered no conditions or codicils to this command.  I believe that this pronouncement replaces the whole of the Law, and I offer no justification or apology.  To you, my lost friends, my love.